[JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

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Audition
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Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:58 pm

[JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

Post by Audition »

Sorry no freelancers or remote workers... :x

PHP NINJA (DEVELOPER/PROJECT MANAGER)

<Location> Secret Place in Darkest Kowloon
<Money> If this is your main reason for working, don’t apply. But the money is good, la

<The Client>
Highly secretive organization which is managed and staffed by people who are fanatically enthusiastic about the future of the internet. Medium sized business, dynamic but casual.

Do you know your ZEND from your PEAR and your CAKE? Do you know your DROOPAL from your JOOMLA?

Good.

<Description of the Suspect>
You’re proud to refer to yourself as a “geek”. You almost certainly read technology blogs, and you probably write one. You read PHP RSS every day, and you’re savvy with OO concepts, Javascript frameworks and databases. You’re familiar with Eclipse, Netbeans, or NuSphere.

You’re extremely hands on, but equally comfortable managing projects and sharing the gift of your knowledge and approach with other people.

You’re responsible and open-minded, your ideas increase productivity and reduce confusion. You’re open-minded and maybe have even contributed to a couple of open source projects.

You have at least 3 years of technical experience in PHP, underlined (probably) by a Technical Degree in CS or similar. You speak Cantonese and English.

<Probable Location/Hangouts of Suspect>
If you aren’t based in HK already, sorry but don’t waste your time applying. And no, we don’t care if you are interested in/planning to relocate to Asia and/or have a Chinese girlfriend – If you’re not local, it’s not gonna work and you’ll just be deleted.

Tags: PHP Project Manager, PHP Developer, PHP Ninja, PHP Rockstar, PHP Technical Lead, Web Developer, Web Designer, Web Application Developer, Hong Kong, MySQL, PHP5, XML, AJAX, Javascript, Web Services, Java, LINUX, Software Engineer, Software Developer, Analyst / Programmer, Systems Analyst, Systems Analyst.

<Action Required for Outcome>
Send your CV, detailing all past criminal activity, a recent mental health certificate and real world URL samples of specific internet hooliganism to michael.wright@idealpeople.cn

My other details are here. I welcome prank calls.

Michael Wright
Consultant
Idealpeople International (Beijing)
Desk: +86 (10) 51282833 ext: 8002
Cell: +86 13811 365 327
Skype: Audition
Mail: michael.wright@idealpeople.net
http://www.idealpeople.cn

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papa
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Location: Sweden/Sthlm

Re: [JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

Post by papa »

Do they pick you up with a black helicopter too?
Audition
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Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:58 pm

Re: [JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

Post by Audition »

Actually they pick you up in a converted U-boat with state of the art espresso facilities designed by Philippe Starsky.
defeat
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Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:41 am

Re: [JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

Post by defeat »

Would i be assigned 007 personal ID ?
And id like to get 100 different passports - so i could travel around the world.
I dont care about the money.
HACK THE PLANET!
Audition
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Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:58 pm

Re: [JOB] PHP Ninja/Project Leader, Hong Kong - Employee Status

Post by Audition »

I just talked to the client and they assured me that 007 personal ID's are available.
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