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Massive CMS Re-Master

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 8:57 pm
by NewRelic
Title: Search for PHP Programmer
Job Description: Rebuilding a PHP CMS/Framework
Time Frame: Seven Days Straight
Work Begins: Wednesday, August 24th.
Location: Santa Clarita, CA 91355

Expected Knowledge
The programmer must have in depth experience and/or knowledge in HTML, PHP, Object Oriented Programming (OOP) and databases (MySQL, Oracle, Etc.). A good understanding of JavaScript and CSS, along with some knowledge in a programming language such as C, C++ or VB. Knowledge in other programming and scripting languages such as Pearl or ASP is helpful.

Description
I am looking for a VERY experienced, open minded, creative and all around talented PHP programmer. A PHP CMS/Framework needs to be re-mastered in many areas. Most of the system functionality will remain intact, but may be handled differently based on the changes we make to remove the negative elements. We will also need to add many new features; this is where a creative and intuitive personality will be expected from the programmer.

You and I will be working round the clock for seven days straight, ripping the CMS apart and re-constructing it, to make it a more powerful, efficient and flexible framework.

Notes
Please do not respond to this message unless you are confident you can meet my expectations or you don’t have the time to lose. Otherwise, you are not only wasting my time, but your own. This is a public message going out to hundreds of programmers. We only require one, which will inevitably leave a lot of disappointed people.

Conclusion
If you’re confident that you can fill this position, please send a complete resume, with code examples and past work. Also include any major accomplishments; please respond shortly, as this position will fill as soon as I find the appropriate programmer.

When I am confident in a programmer, I will release further details regarding the position; please do not request additional information.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: I will hold programmers located in the Los Angeles County area of California in greater priority. This means, if you are not within the United States, don’t bother responding, if you are outside of California, please make it very clear why your worth the effort to fly you in to work on this project.

I will be in out of the country until August. 20th, and my not be able to respond.

Contact
E-Mail at: position@newrelic.net
I will respond only to those I am interested in on Sunday, August 21th.

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:06 pm
by theda
Well, maybe in a year I could. Otherwise, I'd probably... just watch.

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:29 pm
by Ambush Commander
Thiss iss inss the wrong forumsss.

Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:30 pm
by McGruff
Is this a job offer?

Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:50 pm
by Bill H
Work begins Aug 24th, but you won't be back in country to review application from hundreds of programmers until the 20th.

So you are going to review hundreds of applications, select a programmer and expect him/her to start a seven-day backbreaking job on one-day notice.

This is probably the most arrogant proposal I have ever seen posted.

Complete with
please make it very clear why your worth the effort to fly you in to work on this project
which says you cannot even use correct grammar.

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 1:45 am
by patrikG
Guys, this is a job offer. No need to get cynical.

Moved to Job Hunt.

A general remark: while a speedy solution is certainly possible, I seriously doubt that any serious programmer would want to accept a job with only one week to get acquainted with the code and finish the project. I would seriously think about quality assurance - no small matter at all. Good code, like almost all good things, takes time and deliberation.

Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 3:02 am
by onion2k
patrikG wrote:A general remark: while a speedy solution is certainly possible, I seriously doubt that any serious programmer would want to accept a job with only one week to get acquainted with the code and finish the project. I would seriously think about quality assurance - no small matter at all. Good code, like almost all good things, takes time and deliberation.
I'd second that. The very fact this work is being refered to as "remastering" rather than simply adding functionality to an existing website makes it sound very much like there's something holding the current site back. If that's the case then to come in and work over the code in a week is an impossibility. It'd take that long to simply look over what's there and plan a good solution to whatever problems there are at the moment.

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 3:29 pm
by NewRelic
Hello Eeveryone,

I am sorry if you are unhappy with the job specs, I tried to make them as clear as possible.

1. I make comments like that to reduce applicants.
2. I am looking for someone to pretty much re-build/re-master the system.

It does not appear that I will find the person I am seeking here, however I plan to keep this post open until I return.

NOTE: Most people you can tell their experience level from the way they code, this is why I requested code examples. So leave the choosing to me, if your not interested please don't waste a post.

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 6:03 pm
by onion2k
NewRelic wrote:NOTE: Most people you can tell their experience level from the way they code, this is why I requested code examples. So leave the choosing to me, if your not interested please don't waste a post.
A word of advice: The code someone has on their resume is not always a good reference point for what they'll produce under pressure.

PS. No post is ever a waste. They all increase my post count! Yay!

Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2005 7:01 pm
by feyd
seeing someone's code purely shows me someone figured out how to copy and paste, nothing more.

watching someone code shows me a hell of a lot more. But I digress...



All I can say mostly on topic now is: Good luck on your HR hunt.

Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:57 am
by NewRelic
I am not going to try and explain my methods for hire, if your interested, please send me the requested items at position@newrelic.net. For those of you who just like to post comments, I have no need to continue responding, your more then welcome to "increase your post count".

Also for you just reading the comments, THIS IS A JOB OFFER, please read the first post for more information.

Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:15 am
by NewRelic
Here is some free additional information for those of you with doubts.

1. The system is being re-built due to the forming of a new partnership, the CMS/Framework was sufficient before, however we expect to have many more projects on the new system. Thus, we would like a more stable and powerful system.

2. Time is an issue given the fact, my planned vacation has fallen into time frame of this merge, and our first project begins shortly after my return. This means the system needs to be ready ASAP. In the event time restraints cause problems, work can be pushed back to the next project. I would prefer not to forced into that position.

Hopefully that explained some of my notes and dates, if this still looks like a waste of your time, then it probably is.

Filled

Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 8:46 am
by NewRelic
Position has been filled, this topic is closed.