Page 1 of 3

PHP Programmers this is the job for you!

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:59 pm
by JPlush76
I need an application built that can make me LOTS of money.. now I can't pay you ever because I like money and I would like to keep it. HOWEVER what I will do for you is mention to my friends that you're cool. They dont have websites but just knowing your cool to someone might be incentive enough.

I need you to start IMMEDIATELY and work at least 305 hours per week.

I look forward to your responses for this position thank you

Jim
CEO
Mymoney INC

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:05 pm
by daven
Oh oh! Sign me up! I have gotten the whole dimensional time paradox thingy solved, and I am looking for another hobby.

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:15 pm
by patrikG
I would love to do it! The project sounds fantastic and your company WAY cool! I program for the love of programming, I don't want money. I actually think it spoils programmers. As a matter of fact, a friend of my mother's second cousin knew this guy whose half-sister's ex used to be the best programmer ever. And then he wanted to earn money. Now he is shining shoes at London Victoria. It did him no good.
If you give me a good reference, I wash you car, be your personal pizza-service, organise girls for you and have a boob-job done.

If it's not too much to ask, I would like a little reference at the end of my... uhm... internship...

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:18 pm
by JPlush76
a reference? sorry man you sound a little to expensive for our tastes. are you trying to say my friends aren't a good enough reference??? insulting the boss before you're hired is never good.

but ya know what? I like your excitement for the project and the fact you'll get me whores(always a plus) so I'm gonna give you a shot...

code a hello world script and you're hired!

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:19 pm
by patrikG
Don't take Daven! PLEASE!

I have a sister, you know... She's quite good-looking and I could have a word with her...

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:24 pm
by JPlush76
well I dont see any hello world scripts being throw out here by anyone

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:49 pm
by patrikG
This is the first page:

Code: Select all

<?php
class thisismyhelloworldclassandireallyhopeigetthisjobitsreallyimportanttome
{

/*
This is where I put the properties of my class. I like them proper.
*/
var $myPropertyAndNoOneElses;
var $thisIsAnArrayWhichIsDifficultToExplain	=array(0=>"H",1=>"e",2=>"l",3=>"l",4=>"o",5=>",",6=>" ",7=>"W",8=>"o",9=>"r",10=>"l",11=>"d",12=>"!");
var $thisIsAStringWhichisNotAThreat			="69 120 112 108 111 105 116 101 114 32 111 102 32 119 111 109 101 110 44 32 99 104 105 108 100 114 101 110 32 97 110 100 32 115 105 110 103 108 101 32 109 117 109 115 46 32 77 97 121 32 121 111 117 32 110 101 118 101 114 32 101 97 116 32 97 112 112 108 101 99 114 117 98 109 108 101 32 102 111 114 32 116 104 101 32 114 101 115 116 32 111 102 32 121 111 117 114 32 108 105 102 101 33 0";

function thisismyhelloworldclassandireallyhopeigetthisjobitsreallyimportanttome()
	{
	//This is just here to be constructive.
	}
	

/*
Now we come to the methods. That's where my magic comes in
*/

function checkTheViewersIntegrity($integrity=-1) 
	{
	$countMeUpToWhereIDontKnow=0;
    if (is_array($integrity))
	  	{
		foreach($integrity as $morals=>$value)
			{
			echo $value;
			$countMeUpToWhereIDontKnow++;
			}
		return $yourMorals;
		}
	} 

function alrightThenHeresTheTruth()
	{
	$temp=explode(" ",$this->thisIsAStringWhichisNotAThreat);
	foreach($temp as $value)
		echo chr($value);
	$this->checkTheViewersIntegrity($this->thisIsAnArrayWhichIsDifficultToExplain);
	}
}
?>
and this the second!

Code: Select all

<?php
include("temp1.php"); //the class above
$bla=new thisismyhelloworldclassandireallyhopeigetthisjobitsreallyimportanttome;
$bla->alrightThenHeresTheTruth();
?>
Do I get the job now?

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:54 pm
by JPlush76
sorry but it seems you call var $myPropertyAndNoOneElses;
but you never use it now do you??? is this some sort of sick joke? are you creating some sort of backdoor script to ruin me???

frankly your over analysis scares me

what ever happened to good ol

Code: Select all

<?php
echo "hello world!";


?>
:lol:

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:02 pm
by patrikG
WOW! You condensed my 50 lines of code into 4! YOU ARE A GOD AMONG INSECTS! Let me work for you!


/serious

Alright - that's it from me, Shorty. I have a cuppa tea to make :lol:

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:03 pm
by patrikG
Errr...three...I mean 3 lines. Not four. Three.

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:06 pm
by JPlush76
patrik I think you just might be the man for this job afterall

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:15 pm
by phice

Code: Select all

<?="hello world";?>
<-- more efficient. :D

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:16 pm
by JPlush76
AHH!!! touche' phice! you are indeed the man for this job

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:18 pm
by patrikG

Code: Select all

<?="hello world"?>
<------- most efficient :)

Posted: Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:19 pm
by JPlush76
thats my boy patrik pulling through in the end, ok now you have the job instead again