Analysis of What's Hiring
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 10:10 am
If I scan the PHP and LAMP jobs on sites like monster.com and dice.com, I hit these stumbling blocks over and over again:
- Java experience
Why Java? Isn't PHP enough to get everything done that you need? Why is PHP being considered just a "front end" language for so many jobs? For that matter, why would the Java guys even want to use PHP when they can either use JSP or Java and keep things pure in their little world?
I've used Java and JSP. I used it for about 6 months. It was the most frustrating, hair-pulling experience with programming in my life. I could list for you all the reasons why. I will never be wanting to work anywhere near Java or JSP again.
- Want experience with everything under the sun to a ridiculous level, as if you're a genius and have absolutely no life
This one baffles me. The recruiter must be a complete moron.
- .NET experience
They say they want LAMP experience, so that means LINUX, but then they say they want .NET. That's like stupid.
- XSL experience
You mean people are still using this ancient, poorly-implemented technology still? I can get more done faster with either Smarty or PHP Alt Syntax.
- Drupal experience -- more than just installing and using it
Yeah, yeah -- I need to learn this I guess.
- Zend Framework experience
I used it slightly. I sort of get it. But I won't pass an exam on it. On about 1 out of 10 PHP jobs, I keep seeing this. It's frustrating because there are so many frameworks out there for PHP now -- hard to figure out which one to use.
- C++ experience
Again -- baffling. Why would you use PHP with C++ on a regular basis?
- Heavy web service experience
Yeah, I need to get up to speed on this I guess.
///
So, in sum, I'm unhirable. I might as well beg for cash on a street corner or become a greeter at Walmart.
I really wish the bloggers out there would be getting the word out to CIOs and the like and explaining some things:
1. PHP is good enough to be used for everything you need. You don't need Java/J2EE or .NET or C++ added in. And if you do use Java or J2EE, PHP guys can still interact with you over web services and don't need to learn a lick of Java or J2EE. And if you are in a web service environment, and still requiring Java/J2EE experience even though you have a team already doing Java, then quit asking for your PHP devs to know Java.
2. If you're still using XSL, you're a moronic company still with your head in the sand. You might as well use COBOL, and you probably still do. I mean, what a complete time-killer.
3. Okay, so you use Zend Framework. Just realize that PHP MVC frameworks are going through a lot of turmoil right now -- new ones arriving on the scene. A lot of great ideas are being passed around between them. ZF isn't the container of all the best ideas.
///
Meanwhile, I see a huge amount of openings in California. I wonder what exactly has happened to create this issue? I mean, I think I hear two things about California right now:
- They have high requirement costs on businesses for healthcare.
- They have a bunch of people who couldn't pay their homes, abandoned them or sold them at whatever rate they could afford, and many have moved out of the state.
- The state is going bankrupt.
- Many people are moving away.
But that's just what I read -- I don't really know why all these PHP openings are happening in California.
///
So, it's depressing. Time to hit the bottle.
- Java experience
Why Java? Isn't PHP enough to get everything done that you need? Why is PHP being considered just a "front end" language for so many jobs? For that matter, why would the Java guys even want to use PHP when they can either use JSP or Java and keep things pure in their little world?
I've used Java and JSP. I used it for about 6 months. It was the most frustrating, hair-pulling experience with programming in my life. I could list for you all the reasons why. I will never be wanting to work anywhere near Java or JSP again.
- Want experience with everything under the sun to a ridiculous level, as if you're a genius and have absolutely no life
This one baffles me. The recruiter must be a complete moron.
- .NET experience
They say they want LAMP experience, so that means LINUX, but then they say they want .NET. That's like stupid.
- XSL experience
You mean people are still using this ancient, poorly-implemented technology still? I can get more done faster with either Smarty or PHP Alt Syntax.
- Drupal experience -- more than just installing and using it
Yeah, yeah -- I need to learn this I guess.
- Zend Framework experience
I used it slightly. I sort of get it. But I won't pass an exam on it. On about 1 out of 10 PHP jobs, I keep seeing this. It's frustrating because there are so many frameworks out there for PHP now -- hard to figure out which one to use.
- C++ experience
Again -- baffling. Why would you use PHP with C++ on a regular basis?
- Heavy web service experience
Yeah, I need to get up to speed on this I guess.
///
So, in sum, I'm unhirable. I might as well beg for cash on a street corner or become a greeter at Walmart.
I really wish the bloggers out there would be getting the word out to CIOs and the like and explaining some things:
1. PHP is good enough to be used for everything you need. You don't need Java/J2EE or .NET or C++ added in. And if you do use Java or J2EE, PHP guys can still interact with you over web services and don't need to learn a lick of Java or J2EE. And if you are in a web service environment, and still requiring Java/J2EE experience even though you have a team already doing Java, then quit asking for your PHP devs to know Java.
2. If you're still using XSL, you're a moronic company still with your head in the sand. You might as well use COBOL, and you probably still do. I mean, what a complete time-killer.
3. Okay, so you use Zend Framework. Just realize that PHP MVC frameworks are going through a lot of turmoil right now -- new ones arriving on the scene. A lot of great ideas are being passed around between them. ZF isn't the container of all the best ideas.
///
Meanwhile, I see a huge amount of openings in California. I wonder what exactly has happened to create this issue? I mean, I think I hear two things about California right now:
- They have high requirement costs on businesses for healthcare.
- They have a bunch of people who couldn't pay their homes, abandoned them or sold them at whatever rate they could afford, and many have moved out of the state.
- The state is going bankrupt.
- Many people are moving away.
But that's just what I read -- I don't really know why all these PHP openings are happening in California.
///
So, it's depressing. Time to hit the bottle.