Developer's humor

Ye' old general discussion board. Basically, for everything that isn't covered elsewhere. Come here to shoot the breeze, shoot your mouth off, or whatever suits your fancy.
This forum is not for asking programming related questions.

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VladSun
DevNet Master
Posts: 4313
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:44 am
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

Developer's humor

Post by VladSun »

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// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//

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// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

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Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up;  //ha ha

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// Magic. Do not touch.

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// drunk, fix later

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long john; // silver

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//This code sucks, you know it and I know it. 
//Move on and call me an idiot later.

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#define TRUE FALSE //Happy debugging suckers

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long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

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# To understand recursion, see the bottom of this file
At the bottom of the file:

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# To understand recursion, see the top of this file

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/* Please work */

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double penetration; // ouch

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//Dear future me. Please forgive me. 
//I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

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if(m_measures =/*=*/ --index)

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// hack for ie browser (assuming that ie is a browser)

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// If you're reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.
// I am so, so sorry for you. God speed.

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//Abandon all hope yea who enter beyond this point

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/**
 * If you don't understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
 */

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// if i ever see this again i'm going to start bringing guns to work

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//  If you delete the credits, I will fu*king kill you.

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/* Be a real daemon: fork myself and kill my parent */

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//        .==.        .==.          
//       //`^\\      //^`\\         
//      // ^ ^\(\__/)/^ ^^\\        
//     //^ ^^ ^/6  6\ ^^ ^ \\       
//    //^ ^^ ^/( .. )\^ ^ ^ \\      
//   // ^^ ^/\| v""v |/\^ ^ ^\\     
//  // ^^/\/ /  `~~`  \ \/\^ ^\\    
//  -----------------------------
/// HERE BE DRAGONS

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// This is crap code but it's 3 a.m. and I need to get this working.

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// Remove this if you wanna be fired

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// A Gorgon class - For the love of Zeus don't look directly at it!

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// Yes...I know this is repusive and stupid.
// But <%CompanyOwnerOrManagerToken%>, not knowing a thing about code,
// demanded I do it anyways. SO, go crap on their desk, not mine.
// K THX BYE

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#define TRUE rand() % 2 == 0
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't
mikosiko
Forum Regular
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:22 pm

Re: Developer's humor

Post by mikosiko »

:lol:

good ones Vlad.
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VladSun
DevNet Master
Posts: 4313
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:44 am
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

Re: Developer's humor

Post by VladSun »

Yeah, I've found them really good. Hope you like them too.

PS: Unknown author/source...
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't
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Jonah Bron
DevNet Master
Posts: 2764
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2007 6:28 pm
Location: Redding, California

Re: Developer's humor

Post by Jonah Bron »

Haha, funny. Favorites: "long long ago", "#define TRUE FALSE", and "throw up;".
alex.barylski
DevNet Evangelist
Posts: 6267
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 5:00 pm
Location: Winnipeg

Re: Developer's humor

Post by alex.barylski »

That was awesome. Brightened my day :)
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VladSun
DevNet Master
Posts: 4313
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:44 am
Location: Sofia, Bulgaria

Re: Developer's humor

Post by VladSun »

:) I'm happy because you're happy :)

I like most:

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#define TRUE rand() % 2 == 0
it's disgusting :)

PS:Also

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/* Be a real daemon: fork myself and kill my parent */
is really cool :)
There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't
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Jenk
DevNet Master
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Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2005 6:24 am
Location: London

Re: Developer's humor

Post by Jenk »

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