Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

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JayBird
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Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

Post by JayBird »

Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit
Source - http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Nay
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Post by Nay »

OMG!

So I can be sued for overdose and trafficing of PHP.

gosh!

lol

is that a joke? is that source reliable..........i'm still thinking it's a joke.

-Nay
punkandjunk
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Post by punkandjunk »

I think it's a joke cause eventually someone would have clued them in on what PHP is, but it's still really funny
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JayBird
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Post by JayBird »

Yes, it is a joke.

http://www.bbspot.com BBspot - Satire for Smart People and the Best Links Daily.

Sorry, did want to worry you all :lol:
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patrikG
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Post by patrikG »

:lol
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katchoo
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Post by katchoo »

haha that was awesome. ^_^
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phpScott
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I always knew

Post by phpScott »

I always thought there was something addictive about all this.
Similar effects to.
1) bulging eyes 8O
2) reclusive
3) withdrawl sets in if not used daily
4) mood swings for anger to jubilation
5) spend all your money supporting your habit

phpScott
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phice
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Post by phice »

I could have sworn that someone posted this article before?
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jason
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Post by jason »

Yes. It's been posted before. Several times.
JPlush76
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Post by JPlush76 »

wow, jason hasnt forgotten us :o
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brewmiser
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Post by brewmiser »

For us newbies that have never seen it before I want to thank you for posting it.

Make sure and go check out the rest of that site. It gets even funnier.
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twigletmac
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Post by twigletmac »

An oldie but a goodie :)

Mac
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RobertStout
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Post by RobertStout »

I'm doing php right now.

lol nice post, makes me laugh.
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m3mn0n
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Post by m3mn0n »

LOL :lol:
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