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Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 6:42 am
by JayBird
Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP.
"A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."

Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."

In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.

Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"

PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit
Source - http://bbspot.com/News/2000/6/php_suspend.html

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 7:54 am
by Nay
OMG!

So I can be sued for overdose and trafficing of PHP.

gosh!

lol

is that a joke? is that source reliable..........i'm still thinking it's a joke.

-Nay

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:09 am
by punkandjunk
I think it's a joke cause eventually someone would have clued them in on what PHP is, but it's still really funny

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:15 am
by JayBird
Yes, it is a joke.

http://www.bbspot.com BBspot - Satire for Smart People and the Best Links Daily.

Sorry, did want to worry you all :lol:

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 9:24 am
by patrikG
:lol

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 12:40 pm
by katchoo
haha that was awesome. ^_^

I always knew

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 1:35 pm
by phpScott
I always thought there was something addictive about all this.
Similar effects to.
1) bulging eyes 8O
2) reclusive
3) withdrawl sets in if not used daily
4) mood swings for anger to jubilation
5) spend all your money supporting your habit

phpScott

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 1:45 pm
by phice
I could have sworn that someone posted this article before?

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 3:52 pm
by jason
Yes. It's been posted before. Several times.

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 5:12 pm
by JPlush76
wow, jason hasnt forgotten us :o

Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2003 8:48 pm
by brewmiser
For us newbies that have never seen it before I want to thank you for posting it.

Make sure and go check out the rest of that site. It gets even funnier.

Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2003 2:03 am
by twigletmac
An oldie but a goodie :)

Mac

Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2003 5:34 pm
by RobertStout
I'm doing php right now.

lol nice post, makes me laugh.

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2003 5:54 am
by m3mn0n
LOL :lol: