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Job Application Form

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:39 am
by JayBird
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to a WalMart in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME:
Greg Bulmash.

AGE :
17

SEX:
Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:
Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:
$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:
Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:
1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?:
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:
Aries.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:59 am
by PrObLeM
Thats Awesome!

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:34 pm
by tim
hahahaha Beck where do you find this stuff?

what the heck does haggle mean? haha

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:35 pm
by feyd
bargin.. barter.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:55 pm
by tim
yeah feyd, I knew that. I was going for the

"who uses vocabe like that now-a-days? Especailly on a job application!"

funny stuff, none-the-less.

Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 6:02 pm
by feyd
I hear it on a somewhat random, but not rarely basis..

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:58 am
by Grim...
When I got that email (about three years ago, I think) he was applying for a job at McDonalds.

Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 3:48 am
by malcolmboston
lol, damn thats funny

nice find as always mark 8)