javascript joke
Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:58 am
just browsing the internet and came across this and thought id share it with you all.
Code: Select all
public class Developer {
public void writeCode(AssignmentDetails details) {
Document designDocument = details.getDesignDocument();
// see if it was done already somewhere in the project
if (details.isEnhancement()) {
int myExperience = this.getExperience(Calendar.YEAR);
if (myExperience <= 2) {
// Can safely ignore the design requirements. If they are
// so clever, why don't they write code anymore?
designDocument.ignore();
// Time to reinvent the wheel. Surely the guys before me
// didn't know what they were doing (those "gurus"). It
// will take me half the time with zero bugs
details.setClosingDate(Calendar.getCurrent().add(Calendar.DAY, 2));
// Like i need to see what's out there
Internet.getDefaultBrowser().close();
while (true) {
try {
System.hang();
}
catch (InterruptedException exc) {
System.out.println("Will be ready in a few days");
}
}
}
else {
if (myExperience <= 5) {
// Time to copy-paste. If I change the existing function or
// refactor it, I'll have to run tons of backwards-compatibility
// tests.
Set<Method> methodsToCopy = details.getBase().getImplementation();
Package newPackage = this.getProject().createNewPackage(
details.getBase().getPackage().getName() + ".issue" + details.getID());
newPackage.create();
for (Method method : methodsToCopy) {
method.update(details);
newPackage.getClass(method.getClass()).add(method);
}
// test
for (TestCase case : designDocument.getTestCases()) {
boolean success = case.run();
if (!success) {
// damn!!
if (!designDocument.isReadOnly()) {
designDocument.getTestCases().remove(case);
}
else {
// damn!!!
designDocument.descope(case.getFunctionality());
}
}
}
// All tests passed successfully (woot)!
return;
}
else {
// I'm a guru. WTF? Don't they know that gurus' time is more important?
List<Developer> devs = this.getProject().getDevelopers();
Collections.sort(devs, new Comparator<Developer>() {
public int compare(Developer d1, Developer d2) {
return d1.getExperience(Calendar.YEAR) - d2.getExperience(Calendar.YEAR);
}
});
Developer junior = devs.get(0);
// 0wned!!!
return junior.writeCode(details);
}
}
}
// A new feature. Let's try the Internet first.
Browser browser = Internet.getDefaultBrowser().open();
browser.go("http://slashdot.org");
browser.hangAround(Date.HOUR, 1);
browser.go("http://javablogs.com");
browser.hangAround(Date.MINUTE, 20);
browser.search("BileBlog");
browser.hangAround(Date.SECOND, 5);
browser.go("http://www.google.com");
browser.type(details.getShortDescription);
browser.click(Key.ENTER);
// No need to check that the code actually does what it's supposed
// to. Google knows what it's doing.
String contents = browser.getFirstLink().copy();
Package package = this.getProject().getRootPackage();
package.getClass(details.getShortDescription().trim()).write(contents);
for (TestCase case : designDocument.getTestCases()) {
boolean success = case.run();
if (!success) {
// Ignore - if the testers are smart enough to catch them,
// hopefully this will be after I move to another project.
}
}
}
}
}