Page 1 of 2

Wanted: CODING GOD!

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 6:56 pm
by neophyte
No. This isn't a job posting.

I'm just wondering if any one here fits all of the following requirements:
Proficiency in common Web programming languages including: HTML, JavaScript, Perl, XML, .NET, and CSS. Familiarity and experience with advanced programming and design languages including: Flash, DHTML, Java, PHP, SQL, ASP, XSLT, .NET, and Visual Basic. Demonstrated proficiency with UNIX, Windows, and Macintosh server and workstation platforms. Familiarity with Web, FTP and email servers. A strong understanding of OAS, Omniture, and other Web tracking solutions a plus.
Yes that's the actual requirements for an actual job posting.

I've seen it before and you've probably seen it too. I'm just wondering do these people actually know what they want? Or do they like other non-coding types just want all their data problems solved. You know here are the real job requirements:
Wanted one coding wizard 18th level or higher to pass magic wand over yon servers and thus make all our data problems dissipate into the abyss.
The other thing I'm wondering is (aside from Feyd) who here can honestly say that they know all that stuff. I'm talking KNOW it like: no references needed.

Please discuss. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts....

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:04 pm
by Benjamin
HTML = yes
JavaScript = no
Perl = no but I can install them
XML = yes
.NET = no
CSS = yes
Flash = no
DHTML = yes
Java = wtf? no
PHP = yes
SQL = yes
ASP = you couldnt pay me enough
XSLT = what
.NET = didn't we already go over this?
Visual Basic = ummm why?
UNIX = sure I can chmod a file, install linux, apache, php and mysql, what else do you want?
Windows = yes
Macintosh server and workstation platforms = umm and how much do you want to pay me again?
Familiarity with Web, FTP and email servers = yeah I can check email, configure apache and ftp servers.
A strong understanding of OAS = ??
Omniture = ??
other Web tracking solutions = yeah I can write tracking software

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:08 pm
by feyd
With the wish list like that, you're (they're) looking at a very large salary. Easily six figures.

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:15 pm
by neophyte
feyd wrote:With the wish list like that, you're (they're) looking at a very large salary. Easily six figures.
That's what I thought ... If they can find the "person."

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:19 pm
by qads
feyd wrote:With the wish list like that, you're (they're) looking at a very large salary. Easily six figures.
I wish that was the case with a local company ad, just like above give or take, with £35k/year.

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:30 pm
by Weirdan
The list is not that impressive... I've seen worse :)

Re: Wanted: CODING GOD!

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 7:33 pm
by timvw
I don't like jobads like these... Since ASP and .NET are frameworks and not programming languages i get the feeling that they don't know what they're talking about...

In my experience, most 'wishlists' are only an indication.. As soon as you're familiar with most of the items on the list they're already satisfied... And at the jobinterview just make sure to let them know that you're willing to learn the things you don't know yet...

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 8:24 pm
by neophyte
Weirdan wrote:The list is not that impressive... I've seen worse :)
Serious? I can imagine worse. After all they were missing C, C++, C#, fortran, cobol, python, ruby, assember and the binary language of load lifters. :)

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2006 8:33 pm
by Weirdan
Look, after all, they only need a coder/admin. They could require you to be graphic artist, salesman, advertiser, copywriter, SEO, CEO, electronic engineer... the list goes on =)

Re: Wanted: CODING GOD!

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:47 am
by Chris Corbyn
HTML = proficient
JavaScript = proficient
Perl = Can write basic apps
XML = Proficient
.Net = No
CSS = Proficient
Flash = No
DHTML = Proficient (Javascript/Css ???)
PHP = Proficient
SQL = Proficient
ASP = No
XSLT = Basic
Visual Basic = Used it a few times
HTTP = Admin
FTP = Yes
E-Mail servers = Proficient
OAS = ????
Omniture = No

That list of requirement is pretty tough to meet for anybody, but I reckon there are a few people who would manage it if it was open to a wordlwide audience. I love the advertisments like that that say you must live in a certain location to apply.

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:53 am
by GM
HTML = yup
JavaScript = yup
Perl = nope
XML = yup
.Net = nope
CSS = yup
Flash = nope
DHTML = yup
PHP = yup
SQL = yup - admin too
ASP = yup
XSLT = nope
Visual Basic = yup
HTTP = nope
FTP = nope
E-Mail servers = nope
OAS = nope
Omniture = nope

It's a hell of a skill set to have, and for the ones I've said "yup" too, my skills range between being quite well skilled (SQL) to being able to blag my way through a non-technical interview (XML) ...

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:54 am
by JayBird
HTML = Expert
JavaScript = Intermediate
Perl = Intermediate
XML = Beginner
.Net = No
CSS = Intermediate
Flash = Expert
DHTML = Intermediate
PHP = Expert
SQL = Expert
ASP = Beginner
XSLT = No
Visual Basic = Used a ouple of times
HTTP = Yes
FTP = Yes
E-Mail servers = Intermediate
OAS = huh?
Omniture = No

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 3:11 am
by Maugrim_The_Reaper
There's bound to be someone out there with all those skills. They'll be very expensive though. Silver Bullets are made of a precious metal...;)

HTML = Y
JavaScript = Y
Java = ? (Brushing Up)
Perl = Y
XML = N (Beginner)
.Net = N
CSS = Y (but my design skills are...well...crap)
Flash = N
DHTML = Y
PHP = Y
SQL = Y
ASP = Y
XSLT = N
Visual Basic = Y
HTTP = Y
FTP = Y
E-Mail servers = N
OAS = N
Omniture = N

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:01 am
by Grim...
I can do them all except XSLT (what is that?), Mac server, Java and Omniture.
Some of them I can't do very well, but I can blag my way through an interview :)

Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 4:29 am
by Chris Corbyn
Grim... wrote:I can do them all except XSLT (what is that?),
It's a transformation language for turning XML with a DTD into HTML or XHTML. You can learn it in about half an hour if you play around with it. Very simply really. Pretty nice for cutting down the size of your markup if you use it on the client side.