What we gonna do for Feyd's 20000th Post?

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Oren
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Post by Oren »

+1 Magical Sunshine 20K Tardis Thread 8)
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MarK (CZ)
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Post by MarK (CZ) »

ole wrote:
Hope phpBB's gonna handle such large thread
Oh come on there are enough PHP/SQL database gurus heres to handle such a problem.
Yeah, moreover we'll free up some space by removing the banned users who didn't congratulate :lol:
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Jenk
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Post by Jenk »

Why don't we just dock feyd's posts back to 0 and forget this ever happened? :P
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phpdevuk
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Post by phpdevuk »

I saw we get each of those 20K members to buy him a beer via paypal :) and then post pictures ;)
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RobertGonzalez
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Post by RobertGonzalez »

Lets not forget the wonders of the memorable Ode to Feyd thread...

1. Prior to version 5.1 Feyd officially regarded his birthdate as January 01, 1970.
2. Feyd doesn't make parse errors, the PHP parser makes errors when parsing feyds (correct) code.
3. Object Oriented Pheyd.
4. Feyd never loses arguments with his wife. Instead, feyd knows that he never instantiated the object of the argument. Therefore, there's an error, and the argument never took place.
5. Once upon a time there was going to be a dual between Chuck Norris and Feyd. However, before it could begin, feyd programmed Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick himself in the face. Feyd wins.
6. Feyd sets his alarm clock using sleep(some_complex_function($feyd)). However he wakes up 7 microseconds before the alarm goes off and realizes he should've used usleep. Then he laughs because it's not U sleep, its I sleep. Oh, the irony.
7. Feyd invented PHP. In fact, in version 0.0.1 PHP stood for Pheyd Hates Perl.
8. Feyd talks in switch statements. Unlike other speech impediments such as lisps, this is a condition where ones mind procedurally processes data. IE: When ordering food at a restaurant feyd says "switch FOOD case "Hamburger" feyd not full, case "deluxe" feyd happy man. default deluxe.
9. I used to write "code". Now I write "code that could be insanely optimized by feyd".
10. Feyd's favorite pet is a boa constrictor. Not because they're insanely masculine and cool, but because constrictor sounds a lot like contstructor.
11. Feyd doesn't post on PHPDN's phpBB board. He looks at the code for a split-second and phpBB posts for him out of fear he finds a bug.
12. When feyd sits in front of a computer SQL statements optimise themselves out of respect.
13. Feyd has no fear of the number 13.
14. Feyd once made php itself run faster using only userspace code.
15. Feyd doesn't test new versions of PHP. New versions of PHP test themselves against Feyd.
16. The zend compiler tried to speed Feyd up once. Thats what caused the dinosaurs to disappear.
17. Feyd is going to go into politics. When he does, the other candidates will mysteriously drop out with parse errors.
18. Feyd only ever uses hardware. Any software immediately turns into hardware when he looks at it.
19. When Feyd counts his fingers, he ends up with 9.
20. Feyd can divide by 0
21. When Feyd paints his house, he uses GD.
22. Feyd uses db-wrappers for presents.
23. As the record currently stands, feyd will only persist until 2038. Then he will mysteriously dissappear.
24. When Feyd looks at code he can actually see The Matrix...
25. Before name spaces was FEYD.
26. Sensing that Feyd will reference it, the PHP manual does a quick fopen('/path/to/Feyd'), fread('Feyds_Mind') and fput()'s it on the DevNet forums before Feyd has to touch his computer.
27. Feyd scoffs at the Matrix movies. Feyd *IS* code.
28. Feyd knows the question for 42
29. Feyd takes a mysql_dump
30. Hundreds of PHP built-in functions, not known to you or I, are anxiously waiting for Feyd to tell someone: "You might want to look at...".
31. When feyd uses emoticons, people die.
32. Feyd invented something that stabbed people in the face via the internet.
33. When you ring Feyd's doorbell, it makes no sound - it pings him wirelessly instead.
34. Feyd = 1/1 Test Cases Completed
35. feyd has so much programming knowledge, a new product called Google Feyd is in BETA.
36. Feyd eats in bytes. When he's really hungry... megabytes. When Feyd is dining in polite company he eats in nybbles.
37. Even Feyd's loo-roll is skinnable
38. All of feyd's facial expressions are regular.
39. Feyd can set the timer on a VCR.
40. Feyd not only knows what, but also where Java is.
41. All of Feyd's conversations end with a silent ";"
42. Feyd's girlfriend is standards compliant.
43. When people started playing vinyl records, Feyd had already been playing active records.
44. Feyd has never a problem getting up early in the morning since he always lazy loads himself automagically.
45. Feyd told a man to go fork himself once. He ended up spawning child processes.
46. Feyd doesn't use lighters, instead he uses Preg Matches.
47. class you extends feyd..
48. feyd always gets top marks in his "classes"
49. One day feyd hopes to inherit from his parent
50. When feyd puts a letter in the post he uses a timestamp
51. foreach(feyd::$braincells as cell) ... <buffer overflow>... damnit
52. $ody = clone $feyd; //0wned
53. Feyd is a internationalized man of mystery
54. Feyd practises Zend meditation.
55. Feyd is so fast he bans spambots before they get a post off
56. The theory of Relativity is being rewritten as e = Feyd.
57. Feyd isn't white. He's #FFF
58. When feyd gets mad, the world goes into (F)atal (E)rror (Y)ou're (D)ead mode.
59. when feyd is looking for a info..he does an SQL JOIN
60. When Zend announces the release of PHP6 for production, Feyd will have already released PHP14 (with several built-in libraries that will let you control the world by way of Feyd's newly developed wristwatch based server framework).
An Ode to Feyd
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Feyd loves PHP
And so do you

Functions and classes
Logic and code
So many questions
Like, How do I load???

It's simple he writes
With fingers dancing the "QWERTY"
Sit back and be patient
The answer's coming in 30 - seconds of course

No contact allowed
No Email nor chat
Unless your hittin' him up
Cuz your one cool cat

His presence is known and felt in the board
Using cold fusion
Is like driving a FORD.

It sux at it's best
Thats not cause i'm zelous...
Feyd being best
That does make me jealous
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Luke
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Post by Luke »

I remember that thread. These are halarious:

29. Feyd takes a mysql_dump
39. Feyd can set the timer on a VCR.
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RobertGonzalez
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Post by RobertGonzalez »

w00t, 'The Horned Baby Tool Goat' returns! Great job man!

I rather enjoyed this one
38. All of feyd's facial expressions are regular.

Although all of them are awesome (and to some degre true).
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Luke
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Post by Luke »

try to imagine somebody sitting down on the john and taking a mysql_dump. Try to imagine that and not laugh. Just try! :lol:
Everah wrote:w00t, 'The Horned Baby Tool Goat' returns! Great job man!
Yea, I thought it was time to bring back the old-school shiznit.
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RobertGonzalez
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Post by RobertGonzalez »

Ok Ninja, that was a visual many of us would probably rather not envisioned. But goat boy rips (a lot better than cotton headed ninny muggins boy).

You know I was just thinking that Feyd's post count (19744) is about the same as the next four highest posters combined (as of today)
  1. d11wtq (6303)
  2. twigletmac (5343)
  3. Jcart (5134)
  4. volka (4406)
Slighly less than theres combined, but he can make up 2000 posts like most of us make up 10.
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Obadiah
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Post by Obadiah »

how about a free subscription to WOW....thats always nice
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RobertGonzalez
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Post by RobertGonzalez »

Dude, we ca't have him getting addicted to WoW. Hid post count would never reach 21,000.
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feyd
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Post by feyd »

Everah wrote:Dude, we ca't have him getting addicted to WoW. Hid post count would never reach 21,000.
I have three monitors. :D
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RobertGonzalez
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Post by RobertGonzalez »

That is disturbing and intriguing at the same time.
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Obadiah
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Post by Obadiah »

thats awsome :D
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feyd
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Post by feyd »

By request I'll post my newest avatar's larger version here. I do this to not clutter that thread.

http://tatzu.net/examples/SpiderWalk_large.png - 25K
Spider and its shadow were done in Illustrator, background was done afterward in Photoshop (although I could have easily done it in Illustrator) and PNG generated by Fireworks.

[edit] Changed to a link.
Last edited by feyd on Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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