Haha

Ye' old general discussion board. Basically, for everything that isn't covered elsewhere. Come here to shoot the breeze, shoot your mouth off, or whatever suits your fancy.
This forum is not for asking programming related questions.

Moderator: General Moderators

User avatar
n00b Saibot
DevNet Resident
Posts: 1452
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 2:59 am
Location: Lucknow, UP, India
Contact:

Post by n00b Saibot »

Here is what I came around recently:

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet”, which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded
(marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident…. Enjoy!
Qantas Airways — Bug Report wrote: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last………………

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
User avatar
Luke
The Ninja Space Mod
Posts: 6424
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 1:53 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Post by Luke »

n00b that is halarious... I was cracking up the whole time I read that.
User avatar
n00b Saibot
DevNet Resident
Posts: 1452
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2004 2:59 am
Location: Lucknow, UP, India
Contact:

Post by n00b Saibot »

The Ninja Space Goat wrote:n00b that is halarious... I was cracking up the whole time I read that.
believe me I wasn't able to hold onto my seat when I finished reading that :lol:
User avatar
daedalus__
DevNet Resident
Posts: 1925
Joined: Thu Feb 09, 2006 4:52 pm

Post by daedalus__ »

I have a lot of jokes:
Post Reply