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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 5:56 pm
by nickvd
ptrpan wrote:Saw this somewhere. A bit of UNIX

who | grep -i blond |
date; cd̃̃̃̃̃̃ ; unzip; touch;
strip; finger; mount; gasp;
yes; uptime; umount;
sleep
You missed the fsck :)
#!/bin/ssh
#The Unix Guru's View of Sex
unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
http://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/hack/ugvs.html

Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:26 pm
by Luke
that one's awesome :lol:

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 5:06 pm
by Ollie Saunders
ha ha superb

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:43 pm
by RobertGonzalez
I had seen the cd /pub one and the Unix one before. I like that flowchart, that is some good stuff. What about something like:

Code: Select all

<?php
switch ($status) {
  case 'sober':
    fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
    continue;

  case 'drunk':
    fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
    break;

  case 'really_drunk':
    fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
    break;
}
?>

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:46 pm
by Oren
That made me laugh! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:51 pm
by RobertGonzalez
Glad I could help :wink:

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:14 pm
by nickvd
Everah wrote:I had seen the cd /pub one and the Unix one before. I like that flowchart, that is some good stuff. What about something like:
<snip>
Minor alteration :)

Code: Select all

<?php

function drinking() {
 return $something funny; //too lazy to think of funnies right now 
}

while (drinking() === true) {
  switch ($status) {
    case 'sober':
      fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
      continue;

    case 'drunk':
      fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
      break;

    case 'really_drunk':
      fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
      break;
  }
}
?>

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:33 pm
by RobertGonzalez

Code: Select all

<?php
$beers = 0;

function drinking($max = 10) {
  static $beers;
  if ($beers == $max) { // or less for the lightweights
    return false;
  }
  ++$beers;
  return true;
}

function notAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm($beers) {
  if ($beers < 3) return 'sober';
  if ($beers < 10) return 'drunk';
  return 'really_drunk';
}

while (drinking()) {
  switch (notAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm($beers)) {
    case 'sober':
      fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
      continue;

    case 'drunk':
      fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
      break;

    case 'really_drunk':
      fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
      break;
  }
}
?>
Totally untested, though I might volunteer to test this :P

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:14 pm
by OasisGames
I'm waiting for your life to ; } ?>
Or for the shorter version (which is more general to programming)
I'm waiting for your life to ;

Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 3:32 am
by the_last_tamurai

Code: Select all

if ($you=="PHPer")
{
 $con = mysql_connect('buddy', 'tamer', '****')
    or die('Could not connect: ' . mysql_error($con));
}
else // I don't discriminate
{
  die("Away From Here");
}

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 3:07 am
by ptrpan
Everah, that classic! It really made me laugh out loud. Brilliant! :lol:

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:01 am
by RobertGonzalez
I thought it was kinda cool too. Amazing the stories PHP can tell when you use its built in functions.

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 12:36 pm
by d3ad1ysp0rk

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 3:29 pm
by aaronhall
d3ad1ysp0rk wrote:http://www.zazzle.com/product/235415960272004495

I like that shirt.. :D
Isn't that copyright infringement? :D