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Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 5:56 pm
by nickvd
ptrpan wrote:Saw this somewhere. A bit of UNIX
who | grep -i blond |
date; cd̃̃̃̃̃̃ ; unzip; touch;
strip; finger; mount; gasp;
yes; uptime; umount;
sleep
You missed the fsck
#!/bin/ssh
#The Unix Guru's View of Sex
unzip ; strip ; touch ; grep ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep
http://www.ee.ryerson.ca/~elf/hack/ugvs.html
Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:26 pm
by Luke
that one's awesome

Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 5:06 pm
by Ollie Saunders
ha ha superb
Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:43 pm
by RobertGonzalez
I had seen the cd /pub one and the Unix one before. I like that flowchart, that is some good stuff. What about something like:
Code: Select all
<?php
switch ($status) {
case 'sober':
fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
continue;
case 'drunk':
fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
break;
case 'really_drunk':
fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
break;
}
?>
Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:46 pm
by Oren
Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 1:51 pm
by RobertGonzalez
Glad I could help

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:14 pm
by nickvd
Everah wrote:I had seen the cd /pub one and the Unix one before. I like that flowchart, that is some good stuff. What about something like:
<snip>
Minor alteration
Code: Select all
<?php
function drinking() {
return $something funny; //too lazy to think of funnies right now
}
while (drinking() === true) {
switch ($status) {
case 'sober':
fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
continue;
case 'drunk':
fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
break;
case 'really_drunk':
fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
break;
}
}
?>
Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:33 pm
by RobertGonzalez
Code: Select all
<?php
$beers = 0;
function drinking($max = 10) {
static $beers;
if ($beers == $max) { // or less for the lightweights
return false;
}
++$beers;
return true;
}
function notAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm($beers) {
if ($beers < 3) return 'sober';
if ($beers < 10) return 'drunk';
return 'really_drunk';
}
while (drinking()) {
switch (notAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm($beers)) {
case 'sober':
fopen($throat); fputs($beer);
continue;
case 'drunk':
fseek($females); fopen($pants); fgets($asskicked); fputs($injail);
break;
case 'really_drunk':
fopen($toilet); fputs($barf); fflush(); fclose($toilet); ftell($nobody);
break;
}
}
?>
Totally untested, though I might volunteer to test this

Posted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:14 pm
by OasisGames
I'm waiting for your life to ; } ?>
Or for the shorter version (which is more general to programming)
I'm waiting for your life to ;
Posted: Tue May 01, 2007 3:32 am
by the_last_tamurai
Code: Select all
if ($you=="PHPer")
{
$con = mysql_connect('buddy', 'tamer', '****')
or die('Could not connect: ' . mysql_error($con));
}
else // I don't discriminate
{
die("Away From Here");
}
Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 3:07 am
by ptrpan
Everah, that classic! It really made me laugh out loud. Brilliant!

Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 11:01 am
by RobertGonzalez
I thought it was kinda cool too. Amazing the stories PHP can tell when you use its built in functions.
Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 12:36 pm
by d3ad1ysp0rk
Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 3:29 pm
by aaronhall
Isn't that copyright infringement?
